John Osterhout was born in Ranger, Texas. He grew up in several towns in east and central Texas before escaping to college. John’s recent book, The Schnoz of the Rings, is a hilarious retelling of Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. John is working on the Schnoz of the Rings sequel, Once Upon a Time in Central Oith, and on a science fiction novel, Mack Alpha Nine, about a galactic law enforcement agent. (“Mack” is short for Mackenzie.) When he is not trying to write, John slaves away at his day job as department chair and professor of chemistry at Angelo State University in San Angelo, Texas where he tries to trick freshman into learning chemistry. He lives in San Angelo, Texas with his wife, Kathryn.

John blogs about books, science, and education at

Contact John at johnosterhout<at>johnosterhout<dot>com or johnosterhout<at> sanangelowritersclub<dot>org.

 John’s Books

The Schnoz of the Rings

Froyo Bagpants, a halfbit of the Mire, must destroy the Schnozring by tossing it into the fire pit of Mount Drool to prevent the Great Schnoz from conquering Central Oith (but you knew that). This parody of J. R. R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings has the obligatory funny names and the twisted plot but it also has a special charm all its own. You needn’t have read the books nor seen the movies to enjoy this book. The characters are a little crazy, lusty, and sometimes even a bit heroic. Froyo and his companions, the Six Pack of Central Oith, must overcome many obstacles in their quest to make Central Oith safe from the dark power of the Great Schnoz. Laugh your way through the misadventures of Froyo and his friends.

Just Lorem Ipsum

Just Lorem Ipsum is my demonstration book for self-publishing with open-source software. It is one hundred pages of Lorem Ipsum filler text, i.e., pseudo-Latin gibberish. There is also an appendix that explains how I produced the book with open-source software. You needn’t buy the book to get the production information, you can download the .PDF on There are several posts on my blog that describe the production of the interior and cover files.